


Charity Begins at Home

by threecee



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (TV)
Genre: Gen, Retirement, volunteering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-11
Updated: 2011-10-11
Packaged: 2019-11-06 05:08:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17933450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threecee/pseuds/threecee
Summary: Illya doesn't approve of Napoleon's attempt to be "useful" in retirement





	Charity Begins at Home

"Where are you going, Napoleon?" asked Illya Kuryakin, looking up from the computer screen.

"Just for a walk," Napoleon Solo answered very casually.

"In a three-piece suit and your new necktie? I think not. You aren't thinking of going to Faber's Home for Faded Femmes Fatales again, are you?" Illya said suspiciously.

"I might drop in and have a chat with the girls, brighten their day."

"The last time you 'brightened their day' you created so much jealousy with your indiscriminate flirting that Janus and Narcissus got into a cat fight after you left. Narcissus had to be carried off to the infirmary in hysterics after Janus ripped her wig off."

Napoleon shifted uncomfortably, "Narcissus always was unstable."

"And," Illya continued inexorably, "Serena sabotaged the brakes on Angelique's wheelchair, but not before Angelique had poisoned Serena's denture cream. They both ended up in the infirmary too."

"Girls will be girls," Napoleon said weakly.

"Mr. Faber not only told you to stay away, he got a court order. If you go back, he can have you arrested."

"He over reacted. I didn't do anything."

"He had both medical and repair bills from the last two times you visited; that was quite convincing to the judge.”

Napoleon sighed and his shoulders slumped. "All right. I won't go there. I just wish I could still be useful. You have your tutoring and the food pantry. I'm not good for anything."

"There are a great many things you can still do to help others, my friend. You have a lot of skills.” Illya stood up and picked up his jacket as he spoke. "To start with, you can save a Russian orphan from starvation by buying me lunch at Abe's Deli. We can discuss other ideas over lunch."

Napoleon smiled at his friend, "Well I guess charity does begin at home after all."


End file.
